new song i wrote. so far i think this is the best.

holding on to all my memories of you
cos i feel day by day you're just fading away
it's been twenty-seven days since my last proper conversation with you

i'm forgetting your eyes the way they stared into mine
your voice, your smile, that crazy hair that you had
it's just been too long and i can't stop thinking of you

so now i'm holding on tight to everything that i've got
i'm holding on tight to the memories of my first love
i'm holding on tight cos i don't want you to leave me
i'm holding on tight cos i never wanna let go of you

don't wanna lose my mind over this thing i called love
but i can't help myself, you're everything i dreamed of
and this is all your fault your the only thing stuck on my mind

so now i'm holding on tight to everything that i've got
i'm holding on tight to the memories of my first love
i'm holding on tight cos i don't want you to leave me
i'm holding on tight cos i never wanna let go of you

so go on without me, babe, go make life your own
it's so easy for me to say, but i never want it to be that way
so i'll just keep my heart on my sleeve and my hand on the phone

so now keep holding on tight to everything that you've got
keep holding on tight to the memories of our first love
keep holding on tight cos you said you'd never want to leave me
i'll keep holding on tight cos i never wanna let you go

11:21 am

quotable quotes:

"it's about having a dream and seeing it in the distance. It's about working for what you want. It's about the climb."

"Faith is having the strength to trust in something that you can't see with your eyes or prove scientifically. You believe because your heart tells you that's where you should go or who you should be. Your heart tells you what is right."

11:05 am

arrawrrawrr!
guess who's got H1N1?





xoxo

3:18 pm

according to this fb quiz i took, the next person i'm gonna kiss is called...mitch.
neways i didn't go to schooool today!

you know how it works, when you sleep and you forget everything that's bugging you? and when you wake up, whatever was bugging you doesn't seem that big a deal anymore? well, there's one thing that keeps bugging me and it just won't go away. cos it keeps coming back. and it just freaks the hell out of me.

now i've got this song on repeat, thinking about it. realising how much it applies to this situation, yet not wanting it to come true. cos inside, i hope the entire opposite is happening. you had me crawling for you, honey.

write a letter
make it all better

1:38 pm

this song just speaks to me:

All this time I was wasting,
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh

Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no, oh

You're not sorry no no oh

You had me crawling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did - before
You're not sorry, no no oh

You're not sorry, no no oh

hownowbrowncow?

1:20 pm

i've decided to blog again.

everyone say YAY!
so the first week back at school really sucked. most of it was my fault. i got 2 phones confiscated on friday. a greaaaat way to end my week. really. and i didn't only get my iphone confiscated, i got my other nokia confiscated too cos it was with me. fml man. so now i'm using a laopok phone cos my brother is using my fat phone. and this laopok phone is laopok cos i can't hear anything when making calls. -.-" yeah so i hope you trip while going up the stairs and DIE mmm and today is youthday. so no school. happyhappy.

overall this week has been super confusing. and not to mention unhealthy. for both the body and mind. WHY DO YOU ENJOY TORTURING ME LIKE THIS? hah. i bet you don't even know you're doing it. or maybe i'm doing the same thing to you?

oh and you wanna know another thing that sucks? my computer is starting to die...a slow and painful death. first by it's usb ports starting to DIE. uhhhh it's either that or my mouse is dying. and the wireless is dying too.

but you know what makes everything better? friends. and church. my weekend has been really great though and i thank God for that! saturday was spent with amelia. haha actually my whole weekend was with her. even for tuition today. saturday we studied and wrote a song called "after the storm". cos the sun doesn't shine as bright as it did before. and we went to my church and talked then we went to clarke quay for dinner and sat by the river just talking.

and she came to my church yesterday. and we went out for lunch with tiff, treye and keefe. it was really great company. i felt much better after lunch. and treye was so funny. "let's go whack him! i'll bring a hammer!" very nice friends hm? lol.

and in case you don't know, since i stopped blogging for so long, my grandma has moved in. at first i was like NO. i'll die. but now it's fun. she's so wise and funny and COOL. yes people, she has her own handphone AND laptop! hah. bet your grandma can't even use a phone or turn on a laptop. and she COOKS. :D :D home cooked cantonese food everyday is awesum.

10:01 am

i dont' recall what i did ytd...

oh yeah. i went out with CH. how could i forget. lol. i bought all the christmas present for everyone who gave me something. ooh and new school bag! haha but i don't know if i'll use it or my old one. cos this on is kinda small. from ripples. pretty and white :D

today a huge bunch of us went out for lunch after church. including pastor b. heeee pastor b took me, his sons aaron and elisha and daniel to watch bedtime stories at GV PS. the movie was okay. kinda draggy a bit. but the ending was sweet. hahaha. shant spoil it for you (: we played at the arcade for a while. more like the boys played and i just watched. i raced once with aaron. cos elisha and daniel were playing some shooting game.

after that pastor b was gonna send daniel and i home. then while leaving the carpark his car battery died... so we waited until the AA guy came to fix the car. and the car broke down right in front of 2 other cars. good thing those 2 cars didn't decide to move...eh sounds like the cars have a mind of their own. hehh.

why is it that love is something on everyone's mind nowadays?

10:02 pm

Happy Boxing Day.

today, my brother and his friend had a fight. started yesterday during service. cos his friend didn't turn up even though he said he would. so my bro swore at him and called him names. feelings were hurt. i became the middleman. passing messages to each of them. until my bro finally decided to go online. then he scolded his friend. until his friend told me he didn't want to be friends with my bro anymore. cos he apologised and my bro still didn't accept. so now no more friends. and his friend decided to stop going to church. cos he realised God is everywhere and not just in church...first time i've seen 18-year-old boys fight like girls and children at the same time.

i bought my school books today. i shall obesess over them. Or at least try...

7:30 pm

woah.

okay i'm blogging cos tessa insist that i do. cos she can't stand looking at the same blog post everytime she comes here. so mommy, i'm blogging now. (:

22nd i went out with my uncle and aunt to finally buy my birthday present. i got a new wallet. it makes my bag smell nice lol. it was also the MOB Christmas party. there was way too much food. but the company was great. it was at Mel's house. and Mel and i were obsessing over twilight. bonded a lot. and BBQing was so fun!! i left about 10.30 and got home at 12!! and tessa tay smsed me telling me to be home soon. and when i got into the car she was like good. now you're safe, no chee ko peks will find you. hahaha. so now she has become my mommy. cos she was nagging at me worse than my mom does.

23rd! i went to watch TWILIGHT (finally) with Mel. it was a painful experience. but the movie was great and the company too. hahah painful cos everytime Edward came into the picture, which is more than half the show, Mel would squeeze my arm and squeal. haha. aiyoh.. but she's super fun to go out with. we met marlene after the movie. we bought CDs. twilight soundtrack!! and i got QG's secret santa present. vocaluptuous cd.

after that i went to the Blaze InC. Christmas Party. it was fun!!! i got scolded by tessa for being late. cos she told me to be there at 3.30pm... but we didn't really do anything and i was there at about 4 plus? i wrapped qingguang's present...in newspaper. cos i didn't have wrapping paper. and i took ribbon from uncle robbie's house to tie it with. i was suppose to get punished cos i forgot to wear the Blaze InC. shirt.

we played games that treye planned. quite fun. especially the 2 truths one lie game. for some reason there was this rumour about me having an angmoh bf floating around... so i wrote that down as a lie... i think it was cos of my fb status that i put myself as married and my msn pm. it said ily <3 at that time... haha i think it was weiian that deluded that i had a bf. hahah funny. i wish. lol.

eamon gave the p6ers their presents and chaos broke out. the mini nerf guns. bullets were flying everywhere. it was fun. oh and balloons. everyone was popping the balloons. and all the adults weren't really doing anything. then this aaron decided to blow up the balloon until it burst... then auntie may was like "police are gonna start coming, neighbours are gonna stay they hear gunshots!"

christmas eve dinner was really great. quite and all. i spent the day with my grandma and my uncle and aunt. waited for my cousin benny to come over so we could go to my other grandparents' place. got bullied by my uncle as usual... hahah. went to 16jk. had to cab from bishan station cos it was raining!! dinner was nice. i played with fred. cute little boy. haha. he was so hyper. kept jumping on me. i was talking to CH on msn during dinner. my dad got annoyed cos i wasn't really talking to anyone. i was kinda peeved with someone.

today's christmas service was really fun. kinda. uncle seng long fetched me to church. then when we got to corpthorne orchid, he almost ran tessa over... she was waving to us while walking throught the parking lots. then uncle seng long just drove into the parking lot she was at. and tessa ran away like a chicken! then when we came out of the car tessa was like "uncle seng long! you almost ran me over you know!!" hahaha!

got presents from people. then had some caroling practice. the we three kings was really good today. during sermon all the youth weren't really paying attention... we were playing with our phones/psp and watching others play... thanks everyone for all the presents! i'll give you yours on sunday. xD

after service eamon was going around with some mistletoe getting people to kiss. i kissed a girl! lol i also kissed a boy. and got kissed by others. thanks to that dumb mistletoe. lol. it turned out to be holly... my brother got kissed by uncle robbie. omg. hahahah! uncle robbie's got muscles!!! after all the "kissing", uncle seng long gave us a lift to our grandma's place and we had christmas lunch there. it was good. :D spending time with family on christmas is the best gift.

i found out that aaron's grandma lives near mine. so i was suppose to crash. but then i fell asleep and woke up at 5pm. and after that we left. dinner tonight was nice. idk what to call it. cos it was like some weird stuff put together and we called it food.

my mom says i spend too much time alone cos i kept saying weird things today... :X

ohoh! yesterday, i remember what kinda of music i LOVE. blink 182. cos i found some cds. so i decided to rip them into my itunes. then i found the enema of the state cd. i played that and i found it so funny. cos i realised that i've been looking for something new to obsess over that i really liked. something light on everything. the lyrics are dumb but they make sense and are a bit perverted. but they're so funny and simple. and the singing sucks and the instrumental part of it is like messy but GOOD. i love blink 182. lol. not like all the weird stuff coming out nowadays that has to be so perfect or boring or weird...

11:41 pm

heheh.
this weekend has been great!

firstly friday! the ZOO with andrea. it was so super fun. met her at 9am and it took us an hour to get to the zoo. but it was really fun. we saw all the animals. then when we got to the orang utan enclosure, i heard the best thing in a LONG time!

"mommy! where is ah meng?"
"ah meng die already."

heheh. poor kid. andrea took loads of pictures. which i shall kope off when they go on facebook. hopefully soon. lol we took lots of pics with each other and with ah meng's bronze statue and all. it was fun. we were so tired at the end of the day. spending 6 hours walking around in the zoo. catching up with andrea. it was nice.

saturday. busybusy.
went for handbell practice in the morning. then went for caroling practice. then went caroling!! wheee it was great. hahah uncle seng long gave me a lift to and from home. i love singing. lol. esp faliz navidad. cos that song is easy to sing.

sunday busier
church. then did a bit of filming. which i totally didn't help. sorry! and then went for lunch with eamon, yu wai, weihong and royce. then rushed off for handbell performance. it was tiring. bassbassbass! hahaha then got home to get ready for caroling. uncle seng long fetched me again. party at auntie loofen's place. the company was great. i had loads of fun. qg and i cam whored alot! lol pictures another day. i'm off to bed.

11:48 pm

mgs
3D
mghandbells
CairnhillMC
Methodist
happy!
01121994